I SEE a lot of jargon about brand building and how to win friends and influence people.

It’s led to many firms peppering their socials with crap graphics and crapper calls-to-action.

I know without checking that those who foot the bill wonder why they get such crap results.

So I tell you what… I’ll go ahead and tell you.

It is because you never say anything interesting.

All you’re doing is nut smashing with a sledgehammer and nibbling on crumbs.

The good news is if you’ve invested in building a loyal following you can do things better.

Go and find yourself a journalist. A real one. A proper one.

If you come across one who cut their teeth on a newspaper, even better.

If you can get one with a few miles on the clock, better still.

Now you’ve found your mark, convince them to take an interest in your organisation.

Give them access to your website’s blog and then give them the keys to your kingdom.

Then allow them to journal (note the word) all of your key news through your newsfeed.

You’ll become your own powerful publisher. A legend in your own lunchtime.

The master of your own PR ship on stormy and unpredictable digital seas.

You will benefit from interesting, accurate, persuasive and consistent messaging.

Headlines, photographs, captions and a million other things will all be tickety-boo.

It won’t leave people wondering if it has been produced by a robot or a 12-year-old.

It’ll be the sort of stuff you can proudly put your name to.

Your paid-social activity will finally start paying off.

Because you will finally have some decent bullets for your gun.

Anyone who reads your stuff might actually be moved to act in the way you want.

Just imagine.

Buy your new product, attend your latest event, apply for your new vacancy, and so on.

Even if they don’t immediately take the bait, you’ll have caught them anyway.

Because you will have earned their trust and loyalty and lots of other highly-desirable nouns.

It’ll almost be as if you are… hmmm… building a brand.

Winning friends and influencing people and what-have-you.

How do I know this? Because it’s something I’ve done for others for many, many years.

Because I am one of the rare creatures described above. It’s a service I provide.

I bet you didn’t see that twist coming.

But there are plenty of others too, many friends of mine.

There are lots of dickheads too, mind.

The sort of greasy-pole shimmiers nobody would find palatable at Sunday lunch.

Those who’ve spent their best years humping legs at various media outlets.

But even they will be a formidable marketing weapon if they loosely fit my simple criteria.

So get looking, get booking and then get hooking your audience – properly.